Response to Homophobic Accusations Memo
Nat: My word! This is absurdity!
Eric: What has gotten your caviar, so tightly packed?
Nat: If you could believe this. Our beloved institution is being accused of homophobia.
Elton/Eric: MY WORD!
Elton: It surely could not have come from our department.
Nat: The memo does not specify.
Elton: It must have come from somewhere much less cultured.
Eric: Where the job consists of watching an idol box all day and narrating what everyone else can clearly see.
Elton/Nat: Ha Ha Ha…sports.
Eric: We have never even had a typo.
Nat: Of course not…
All: We are World News.
Elton: Gentlemen we have a repetition to uphold.
Eric: We can’t lose our devoted readers.
Nat: They need us too much.
Elton: Who else will report to them what they are too impoverished to ever see.
Eric: Who else will enlightenment them whilst enhancing their vocabulary.
Nat: We will!
All: My word! We cannot let this happen. We have given the world too much to stop now.