NEW ENDING

S1: Did he hear me? Maybe when he bumped into the…. uh. No, maybe I should just tell th-

Offstage: All paper Staff Meeting in 10.

S1:Hopefully, it won’t matter once we get the new issue out. The boss is always encouraging us to move on, besides. He said it wasn't important when he interviewed Alex. Maybe he meant it? We can just talk about football, [S2 and S3 enter] It’s just one

S2: little thing, turns out, he’s a gay. DUDE WAS HITTING ON ME!

S1: [scowls, frowns] ay-

S3: AWWWWW COME ON! NO WAY DUUUUUDE! At a football game?

S1: I know my man! [Puts arm around S3, S3 gets uncomfortable and shakes him off] I’d rather my girl blab through the whole second half than get hit on by a dude at a game!

S2: Not just a dude [Politics enter] he was a pla- WAIT [Sports look at S1, then turn to check out the women in politics, not interested they turn away from each other, S1 still separate]

P2- (smug) Hello, Well, How are you.

P1- I am fine, yourself?

P2- grand. But, you think youd be marvelous, seeing as you have a new family member. How was the wedding by the way?

P1- (Says nothing, but goes ahead.) I read your article. It was…fairer than I originally thought. I think you presented your argument well.

P2 (surprised) Oh. Well thank you. It’s going to print now.

P1- I know.

P3: [acknowledges Sports] Good afternoon, Gentlemen-

W ALL: Gentlemen,

S1: [pleading] These guys!

W2 & W3: Yes?

W1: Please, tell me one of you grabbed the Brazillian tobacco? I have a feeling this meeting will be, a

W2 & W3: Waste of time.

W2: Aww yes, But who will lead the paper down the path of enlightenment?

W3: To be honest, there is no better candidate than

W1: Men who’ve travelled

W2: to pearl of the orient

W3: to the depths of the southern hemisphere

W1: to the far news

[mimes pipe smoking]

N: Theeeee booooosssss iiiiiissss back back back
We cant relax lax lax lax
wants more new stories stories stories
must make our stacks stack stacks

He wants to sell sell sell
lots of newspapers papers papers
wants to do well well well
wants us to cater cater cater

to our loyal readers readers readers
high school teachers teachers teachers
now the gays gays gays
now we gotta keep em keep keep em

S1: Now they know Im gay gay gay
P3: New issues to write write write
N & S1 & S2: hope nothing will change change change
W1: [Interupts] Ahem. Gentlmen
W: Gotta catch our flight flight flight

N: New assignments every day day day
P1: don’t know what to say say say
All: We all move on on on
N & S1: And stay the same same same