New monologue

It all started a few months ago when the big heads asked us to go to “a training”
The memo gave us the date, time, location and a warning that if we didn’t show up
We’d lose our job.

This wasn’t a new thing for us
We all remembered the “diversity dinner” were
we had to welcome our new multicultural staff
I think it was more like our boss’s way of
Saying “LOOK, I’M NOT A RACIST!”
I had been working there for a year
And I guess he hadn’t noticed me
Because when I walked by that jackasses table he
Said, “Excuse Me, Bus boy – can you clear the table for us”
When I told him I’m a writer for the sports column
He welcomed me and assured me that my new job
Would be a friendly work environment for colored
People like me…. Suuuuure.

A month after that we had a “multicultural training”
we were all promised that “our voices
were somehow important to the success of the event
but the microphone never got around to us…
it was just bunch of white men in business suits yelling
about how we needed to be “more politically correct”
the politics department had a field day!

P1: You have absolutely no training as a political analyst, you are hardly qualified to discuss the politics of anything.

P2: You don’t tell a black woman how to not be racist.

P3: Politically correct is not objective,

P4: it’s censorship


Their sassy little asses went fact for fact about this issue and that issue
and everyone else just sat there doing what they normally did.

S2: So round and plump and juicy and..

S3: Come on man, shoot already!

S2: Trust me, I’d like to!

S3: Dude, the football!
S2: What?

S3: Fumble!

The sports section, We kept score!
Fashion too, but they must have been
Watching the fall clothing line c
ause they kept talking
Amongst themselves and periodically cackling at the most awkward moments
World news [smokes pipe]

W1: Gentleman, which one of you has the Turkish tobacco? I could go for a little Euroasia right now.

W2: Euroasia… I believe the ottoman empire fell years ago,

W3: I believe he’s trying to say

W2: that you smoked the last box months ago, right after carnaval!

W1: Blasted importing laws! We need more

W: turks in this office.


Apparently, they’re not big on fair trade

So anyways nobody thought this
This other training would be any different.
But we dragged our diverse asses to it hoping that it wouldn't be the same.